How are you doing with your New Year Resolution? I have always been curious about this trend. I think is a great idea to start the new year with a vision, with desire and with the intention to guide you through out the year. I would like to see statistics of how many keep up until the end of the year. I surely think they deserve a medal. Thinking about those types of resolution knowing myself I think that I’ll tend to get very excited at first and as time moves on my focus would fade away. 
 

So I guess I’m  at the other end of the spectrum I haven’t even considered to start my year with a resolution. Alternatively, in my life words and bible verses have been what has come to my mind and not necessary at the beginning of the year. Sometimes they have come after a great tragedy just like in 2014 the year that our unborn daughter died. I had this biblical verse that I kept seeing everywhere.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.  

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version

This verse kept circulating in my head and it made me see certain aspects of my life under a different light. It helped me to move through one of the most difficult moments that I have lived. The hope found carried me as I walked along the path of pain and was encountered by death. This verse allowed me to keep believing, to know that God is good and to understand that in life we do not always get to have a reason or we might never know it at all, but life is worth being lived and enjoyed.

 Last year “Joy “came to my mind and  became the word of the year. One thing that I have learned in life is that is not necessary to be in a good situation in order to have joy. During many moments life has thrown me  a curve ball and I have been able to smile. I have been able to cry and a second later feel joy for what this world has to offer, for what people are open to doing. 

Little things that usually are insignificant have been the cause of great joy to my heart. I am grateful to have a nice warm house at the end of the day, to hear children laughing around me, to have good people by my side, some who I have never met in person even though I’m still be able to reach them and be heard. I am in awe when spring touches our land and everything comes to life. What a magnificent spectacle is to see the first sprout of my plants in my garden, the joy they give me as I welcome them after a long sleep. The geese that furrow the skies are capable of snatching a sigh and the birds chirping away bring waves of thankfulness because I am able to hear their songs.

I even remember the little birds that ate lettuce in my garden as they sprouted in summertime. Oh those little ones made me hide and stay quiet and still as I contemplated them eating. At that time another bible verse came to my mind

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

Matthew 6:26,27 New International Version

 I tend to worry easily, I think is hereditary from my mother’s side of the family. I believe that in some way worry equals love and care. I have been working in that area of my life and now I have learned to worry less when I leave things to God in my prayers. I won’t say that I’m “laid back”, but I can sincerely say that I’m improving. I was able to keep my faith during the time that Mark was out of job and even the short period of time that we both didn’t have job. Times of sickness have been harder to deal with, but that hope and knowledge that God plans are not to harm me have come to pass and I have been able to build strength when the days look grey.

 I purposely chose a word for this year. I chose “Expectancy”: the state of thinking or hoping that something, especially something pleasant, will happen or be the case. We are never sure of what is ahead of us, but I want to expect the best. I rest as I wait with an open mind and increase in awareness of my surroundings. And yes, sometimes the chaotic moments come to meet us. In the last few weeks I had my child with a weird virus that didn’t allow him to keep food in his tummy, my husband’s grandmother got ill and my grandma as well. Thankfully everybody is back on the mend again and as I reflect on those days, I have realized that is is not easy, but I choose to integrate that word into my life and keep expecting the best for this year that just took off.

 “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.”

Psalm 62:5 New International Version 

After all this years I have come to the understanding that my life goes in seasons or periods more than “calendar years” and that they tend to last very long time. I also have noticed that these seasons have intertwined among each other in a way that one feeds into the next one. I do believe that as I keep walking I keep growing even if sometimes I find myself going backwards. I think that having a new resolution at the beginning of the year is a wonderful idea, but I also think that this doesn’t accommodate everybody. So don’t feel too bad if you are unable to follow you intent. Find a new way to keep going. Maybe you need a word to focus on, a bible verse, a slogan or to create your own motto. 

2 Comments

  1. Susana this such a heartfelt, beautiful post, sadness, anxiety and joyfulness. I hope that you find all that you wish for and deserve. I’m glad to share your art and aspirations with you. Blessings….

    • I really appreciate your words Linda! Thanks for your kind wishes. I am also glad to be able to experience this journey with you.

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